Invitation Navigation & Loving Others Well

How do you handle invitations? Do you try to avoid social situations at all costs, or do you consider the privilege of an invite, understanding that someone thought of you and is requesting to spend time with you? Maybe you’re somewhere in between. 

As Christians, we should see every invitation as an opportunity to love others well. Yet, as someone who enjoys both giving and receiving invitations, I often see them handled poorly, and sadly admit to having made a few less than stellar navigations myself. So how can we best respond to these opportunities?

To be clear, I’m not really considering general invitations, nor am I addressing events with particular moral concerns. I am focused here on personal invitations, those times when another person or group specifically invites you to spend time with them in a generally neutral setting. In those situations, how can we best show God’s love to others? 

Here are six points on navigating the invitation.

1. If you can go, go.

If there’s nothing holding you back, accept the invitation. Be where people are. Jesus spent plenty of time with and among people. His first recorded miracle was at a wedding. (John 2:1-11) But Jesus was always present for far more than mere socializing. If we are to be like Him, to develop relationships and have meaningful conversations about His Kingdom, we need to be present and pursue others as He has pursued us.

2. Don’t make up excuses.

We’re all busy. Most of us are actually far too busy. But we can also use that “busyness” as a smokescreen to ignore people who actually need us in places God is calling us to minister. Another trend is to defer to our brokenness via personality traits and largely self-imposed categorizations as reasons we can’t spend time with others. But nowhere in Scripture do we see any of these as valid excuses for avoiding people. We do see that we are to “go.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

3. If you genuinely can’t make it, kindly decline.

Life happens. You can't make it to everything. Maybe you can't afford it or you’re already booked. Maybe you’re not feeling well. By all means, don’t be generous with your germs, but do be sure to inform the person or group what’s happening with you. No need for lengthy details, but a response is truly appreciated and shows consideration for those who think well enough of you to include you.

4. Don’t say you’re coming if you’re not.

Again, things happen, but it is a terrible feeling to wait in anticipation for someone only to be disappointed at a no show. There's never a reason to lie, and we should care enough for others not to forget or ignore them. This also has the potential to damage relationships on many levels, and for no reason, when our goal in love is to build others up in Christ.

5. Thank those who invited you.

Acknowledgement is huge. Whether you can make it or not, let them know you’re grateful they thought of you. I’ve worked to improve on this myself, especially if I can't go. It’s a great touch with that person, and can lead to ministry opportunities down the road.

6. Enjoy yourself.

You'd think this one obvious, but it’s no fun for your host or invitee (or you, for that matter) to have you present but miserable. This tends to happen when our focus is on ourselves and not on God and others. We’ve all been in situations which weren’t our preference, but it’s well worth finding redeeming moments. With a Master who went to the cross for us, living sacrificially should be our norm, and a few hours lived in deference to others for their good and God's glory is no great loss. If you'd rather be elsewhere, pray for the Spirit’s guidance and help with your attitude even before you arrive. Who does the Lord want you to connect with?

The next time you receive an invitation, whether in person, by mail, text or on social media, consider the privilege of having someone reach out to you, and ask God how He’d like to use you in that person’s life, or even the lives of others if it’s a group event. As we focus on Jesus and on the people He puts in our lives, we can find countless opportunities to love as He loves and to share who He is, which is truly the greatest privilege of all.

Christmas 2015: The Present of Presence

"And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked to receive alms. And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. And leaping up he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God."
-Acts 3:2-8 (ESV)

While I can appreciate the gift giving that happens around this time each year, I’ve personally long preferred presence to presents. The gift of spending time with others holds immeasurable value to me, more than I suspect most people realize. Throw in some good conversation, and I am more than content.

Unfortunately, time with others seems a rare commodity these days. We may be separated by distance or, more likely, whichever life priority has popped up at the moment. Some reading this I may never have met at all. And while I wish presence were an easier gift to give, or perhaps a more desired one to receive, human limitation dictates otherwise.

That being true, I’m very thankful that God Himself is not only generous, but His gifts have everything to do with presence.

The man in the story above was given several gifts he didn’t expect due to the presence of two Christians. He probably would have settled for some loose change. Instead, He’s given the gift of healing (a gift I would love for several friends, and wouldn’t even mind receiving myself). And yet, even better, He’s given the very power and presence of Jesus Himself through these men. He can now know the Lord and have his relationship with God restored because of Jesus.

Why “because of Him?” Out of His love and generosity, God the Father gave us the gift of His Son, Jesus—also given the title Immanuel, or “God with us.” While we focus on this aspect of God’s generosity at Christmas, there’s so much more to the story. God came to be with us for many reasons, ironically including the fact that we all abandon Him in pursuit of our own desires, moving away from Him and each other on a path which ultimately leads only to total isolation and death. Because of our natural trajectory, Jesus came and gave His own life so human relationships with God could be restored. He then returned to life, and to His throne in Heaven. And since He did this, Jesus now gives anyone who truly trusts Him as Lord the presence of His Holy Spirit, along with adoption into God’s own family forever. He never stops giving us presence.

I can’t be present with everyone during the holidays, or even give everyone gifts, fantastic or otherwise. Still, what I do have I give to you in this little letter. Because of the presence of Jesus in my life, I want you to know Him too. I invite you to think on who Jesus is and all He gives, and I am always excited to spend time with you by whatever means available (which may include a comment on this post or a Twitter chat) to talk about Him, whether you’ve known the Lord for years or have never heard this before. I’ll take that good conversation anytime. ;-)

Praying you’ll know Jesus’ true presence this Christmas season.