"thanks" will never be enough

We recently had our annual Thanksgiving Celebration at our church. It's a fun time to gather with the church family for food (lots of) and then settle down in the Worship Center to thank God for His unending generosity.

This year I was asked to give a testimony of just what I'm thankful for from the past year and perform a song to go along with. Not sure how much of this will end up in this year's Christmas letter, but here's what came out...

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When I was asked to give a testimony of what I’m thankful the Lord is doing in my life, I knew I needed to do this but wouldn’t possibly have enough time to provide the full picture.

The past few months have been an incredible time of spiritual growth for me as I’ve never experienced. But interestingly, and certainly not accidentally, I just went through over a year of one of the longest valleys I ever walked. This was an extremely rough time on me emotionally for many reasons.

I’m not sure anyone knew that I woke up every day for months with a dull ache. I’d pray about it, but it wouldn’t go away. Last May that oppressive feeling mysteriously vanished just as I was called into a series of intense spiritual battles. But even without that horrible feeling, once the intensity died I found the unsettled emotions remained, and I was still handling things poorly.

All this piqued in July, and I knew then I was just going through the motions spiritually. I was purely frustrated with circumstance, but just kept pushing on, knowing my attitude wasn’t right and wondering how things might change.

In August, the change began, and God allowed some of (my church family) to play a part. I was in the Sunday school class viewing John Piper’s “Blazing Center” DVD, and by the second session he struck a chord. I began to see that my joy was gone because I was looking in the wrong direction. We cannot find true joy or lasting happiness anywhere but in the Lord alone.

Once I acknowledged this, and acknowledge Him, God began to work in me in all kinds of ways.

My worship, encouraged in part by being in praise band and visiting some other worship services, is developing into a genuine “anytime, any style, anywhere” with anything scriptural.

My prayer life is changing dramatically, further encouraged by (our) “God-Centered Praying” class and recent “Fresh Encounters” weekend.

My study time has seriously increased. I’m spending a lot of time in Psalms and currently being impacted by Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love,” which discusses all the Creator of the universe, who actually died for sin, has done to show us His amazing love and how we should be so humbled and excited and awestruck that we can’t help but unconditionally love Him back.

My excitement to follow God’s lead has me going all kinds of directions. I even found myself in Chicago with the youth last weekend learning about creative ways to glorify Him by helping others.

As I said, I don’t have time to paint the entire picture of what’s taking place. This has barely scratched the surface. My circumstances didn’t change, but my focus did. I’m excited, and I am incredibly thankful to the Lord Jesus Christ for bringing me back to life.

This brand new song called “Heartbeat” by the band Remedy Drive tells a similar story.


Heartbeat - Remedy Drive

This is a draught
Living without
The one thing that I require
What a mess
Passionless
Somewhere I lost the fire
Oh my my
Where has it gone
Can anybody turn this beat back on?
My heart is fast asleep
Dreaming it could bleed
For something that's real
My desperate appeal
God, I'm getting tired of the way I feel
When I would rather be alive

I want to wake up
I want to restart
Put the drumbeat back in my heart
I need to be revived
Bring me back to life

Coming on slow
Head to toe
The pulse is back again
Grace in my veins
Replacing the pain
Bringing me back from the dead
Oh my my
Now I can see
You heard me cry emergency
Screaming out for help
You saved me from myself
The fire's returned
I'm letting it burn
There's nothing better in the whole wide world
It feels so good to be alive

I want to wake up
I want to restart
Put the drumbeat back in my heart
I need to be revived

I want to wake up
I want to restart
Put the drumbeat back in my heart / It feels so good to be alive
It feels so good
Bring me back to life


Related (back story):
• long distance runaround
• the summer of our discontent

no such thing as a little thing

"Oh, give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples!" -Psalm 105:1

I'm just back from a weekend road trip to Atlanta. I've driven road trips before, but this was definitely the longest distance I've ever conquered. When it was all said and done, I'd chalked up over 1,300 miles. (It's also the longest my car has ever done, poor thing. But it seemed to enjoy the drive.)

This trip, and events in the days before and after, have given me some pretty clear opportunities to see the Lord's provision and timing. Since it's always good to thank Him for everything, I wanted to share some of those things with you.

• I somehow managed to stay active and alert during everything, from the drive to all our scheduled events, except for a little road time between Atlanta and Nashville when I just needed a nap. This is kind of a big deal since I'm not a morning person, but wasn't late for anything the whole weekend.

• On the way down we ran into a torrential, can't-see-the-vehicle-in-front-of-you rain storm in a construction zone. Even had a concrete wall just a foot or two away for part of that time. Nearby lighting strikes and slight hydroplaning were frequent, and given the flat terrain I wondered about the potential for flash flooding. But I was incredibly calm the whole time. I asked the Lord for protection, and that was that. I knew who was in control of that storm, and it wasn't me.

• We didn't realize it's recommended to purchase tickets in advance for the Georgia Aquarium. We got online at the hotel to find there were some left for the next day and we needed to print them out. The hotel staff went out of their way to get those tickets printed for us, and someone a staff member knew even let them borrow their printer to do so.

• On the way back we needed gasoline. I knew this as I pulled out, but didn't bother to think about it again until the light was on. In the middle of nowhere, with few exits or towns, I asked the Lord for a petrol station. We found one shortly thereafter, with no delays or construction in between. (FYI, we currently don't carry a cell phone.)

• I have some food sensitivities, but never had a problem feeling ill on the road. The Hard Rock Cafe in Nashville went out of their way to prep me a plate I could eat with no problems. (And it was sooo good.)

• Even the day after we got back, when I had a crazy morning and forgot to bring my lunch to work, He provided again with food left over from a wedding which was something I can safely eat and just enough to curb my hunger.

I could definitely go on. I know none of these were Earth-shattering events. It doesn't affect anybody but me and some of my friends. But so often people get caught up looking for God to do some huge bread-from-Heaven event that we miss out on the little ways He provides for us every day.

And I hesitate to use the word "little." Nothing the Lord and Creator of the universe does is truly small. But a lot of us in the free world seem to feel some sense of entitlement for every good thing that goes our way, and absolute outrage at any minor hindrance to our lifestyle - or even our particular moment - forgetting to thank Him at all for giving us all He has provided.

Happily I can say that I thank God not only for all the stuff I listed (and a hundred other things I didn't), but even for the fact that He pointed those things out to me. Even for the fact that I can see reliance on Him is the only way to go. Even for the fact that I can share this with you now. I'm thankful for all that.

Look around. Give thanks for all He does for you. You might just see His greatness even in the things you now consider small.